


I Am Not A Committee!

by Adarian



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 18:36:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5344364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adarian/pseuds/Adarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rewrite of some of Han and Leia's scenes in Empire Strikes Back, but with Josephine as Leia and Isabela as Han. Because Isabela basically is Han Solo and it's the best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Isabela shook Cullen's hand. "That means your civilians should be able to evacuate through the tunnels. Which means that you don't need me anymore."

"You're leaving?" Josephine asked, startled.

"That's right," Isabela said. "Haven's about to go to the Void in a hand basket. It's time for me to get out of here."

Cullen said, "Thank you, Admiral. You're an extraordinary duelist, it'd be a shame to lose you."

Isabela replied, "Thanks, Commander, but you've got a lot of civilized folks around here, it wouldn't take long until someone figured out who I was and tried to turn me in. Good luck."

"I understand. May the Maker watch over you."

"I guess this is it, your worship," Isabela said, glancing over to Josephine.

Josephine glared at her in return.

"Right, no need to get dramatic," Isabela grumbled. 

The pirate headed out into the hallway. Josephine chased after her. 

"Isabela!" 

Isabela turned around. "Yes, your highness?"

Josephine insisted, "You said you were going to stay. What happened?"

"I remembered reality. I've got a lot of angry people who've placed a lot of money on my head. I'd like to get that taken care of while I still can. If I'm going to die, it's not going to be in a snow bank freezing my ass off."

"But we need you here."

"We?"

"Yes."

"Not you?" Isabela asked.

"Me?" Josephine denied. "I don't know what you mean."

Isabela rolled her eyes. "You probably don't. You're so wired to always be on guard and in control of every little detail, you don't even notice your feelings, do you?"

"And what, pray tell, am I supposed to be feeling?" Josephine asked angrily.

"You want me to stay because of how you feel about me."

Josephine said calmly, "You're a talented fighter and have been a real asset to the Inquisition in its time of need. We could use your skills-"

"That's not what I'm talking about."

Josephine laughed, "You're joking."

"Am I?" Isabela said, leaning against the wall to block her path. "Then why are you following me?"

Josephine frowned and Isabela laughed, "See?"

"You're ridiculous. We need you here because of your connections-"

Isabela rolled her eyes before walking away. "I think you were worried I wouldn't come and kiss you goodbye."

Josephine followed her, stomping. "I'd rather kiss a druffalo!"

"I can arrange that! You could use a good kiss!" Isabela called out, slamming the door of the Chantry shut.

Josephine groaned, grabbing at her hair. She turned, see Mother Giselle and several other members of the clergy looking at her curiously. She blushed slightly and stormed back to her office.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time, the infamous exchange on Bespin. But happier because I'm a sucker.

"Captain Isabela, this time you have gone too far. I really don't see how this is going to help. We're in a lifeboat, chased by the largest ship the Orleasians have. I think it is perfectly reasonable to surrender-"

The mabari growled at him and Roderick shut up quickly.

"Thank you, Huan," Isabela sighed.

"So what is our next move?" Josephine asked nervously.

"We've got to find a safe port and get back to the Inquisition. Any ideas, princess?"

Josephine scowled, "No."

"If we're this far north. I think I have an idea. Zevran."

"Zevran is a city?"

Isabela laughed, "No, a man. He's an old friend, we go way back. He's an Antivan Crow and a scoundrel. You'd like him. He's in control of a small island about an hour from here if we row fast. He might be able to help us out. He owes me a favour or two."

"Can you trust him?"

"No, but I wouldn't trust anyone in my line of work, sweetheart." 

After an arduous two-hour trip, they finally reached the docks of Bes'Pin. Isabela helped Josephine out of the boat. The mabari leapt out, shaking the boat too much for Roderick to get out. Eventually Isabela hauled him out by his collar.

Isabela commented, "No one here to meet us...I've got a bad feeling about this. Someone should have seen us coming in, Zevran's got spies everywhere." 

Suddenly an elven man in black walked down the dock towards them, several guards behind him. His grim expression left Josephine feeling uneasy. She glanced to Isabela, who waved her off.

"See, my friend," Isabela said, gesturing to Zevran. "Nothing to worry about."

Zevran stopped several feet ahead of them and growled, "Why, you slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler! You've got a lot of guts coming here."

"Me?" Isabela asked, feigning confusion.

Zevran chuckled and embraced her. "Good to see you, you old pirate! Come on in. When my birds told me they'd seen you in a little dingy, I was worried, but you look as beautiful as ever. And who is this ravishing thing?"

Isabela pulled away and put her arm protectively around Josephine. Zevran still took Josephine's hand in his and kissed it.

"Welcome to the city," Zevran greeted. "You must be Josephine Montilyet. I have heard stories of your beauty, but they cannot compare to you."

Isabela laughed nervously, "You old smoothie."

"What happened to the Ruby?" Zevran asked.

"Got confiscated by the Orleasians. I'll get it back."

"You always do," Zevran teased. "I'll see if I can't get a more suitable ship for you. Come on in, you're welcome to stay in my home until then. And I imagine your lovely companion will want to get back to the Inquisition."

"Are we really going to stay with this...cad?" Roderick asked suspiciously.

"Grand Chancellor," Zevran reassured, winking, "you are in the most capable of hands. Perhaps a little later I can give you a private tour of the city. You'll find our Chantry is most secluded...and sound proof."

Roderick blushed deeply and the four of them followed Zevran into his home.

***

Josephine stood on the balcony, leaning on the rail as she looked out onto the water. She turned slightly, hearing Isabela come into the room. The pirate had finally been able to change out of her winter gear and into a short dress and her infamous leather boots. Josephine caught herself checking out her legs and looked back onto the water.

Isabela leaned against the rail beside her. "Zevran says he has a seller, I'll be going down there in the morning. We'll be out of here in a few more days."

"The sooner the better. I need to get back to the Herald as soon as I can. I'm worried."

"I'm sure they're alright," Isabela promised. "I'll talk to Zevran and see if he has some more information."

"I don't trust Zevran."

"Neither do I. He is my friend, after all. Don't worry, we'll be gone soon."

"...and then you're good as gone, aren't you?"

Josephine looked away quickly and Isabela put her arm around her shoulders.

"Listen, your Inquisition doesn't need me, princess" Isabela murmured. 

"But what if I need you?" Josephine asked.

Josephine turned back to look at her and her heart began to race. Isabela leaned in and Josephine closed her eyes, only to open them as the mabari started barking. They pulled apart as Zevran entered the room.

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything," he apologized. "We're serving dinner in the hall shortly. I hope that you'll join us. Everyone is welcome."

"Where's Rodrick?" Josephine asked.

"I'm sure he's wandering around somewhere," Zevran chuckled. 

Zevran offered his arm and Josephine took it, looking back over her shoulder at Isabela. Isabela scowled but followed along behind them down the beautiful white hallways. 

"Have you news from the Herald?" Josephine asked.

Zevran explained, "The Inquisitor now, actually. Lady Adaar is set up in the castle Skyhold now, apparently doing quite well."

Zevran's servants opened the doors to the dining room and Josephine froze, seeing Samson at the head of the table. Isabela stepped in front of her, pulling out her sword, but three Crows wrestled her to the ground. Josephine herself was grabbed and tied to a chair. The mabari was muzzled and dragged from the room.

"We would be honoured if you'd join us," Samson said.

"I'm so sorry, Isabela," Zevran apologized. "They got here just before you did."

"I'm sorry too," the pirate said quietly.

Samson announced, "Send a raven to Skyhold. Tell Hawke who we have in custody. I think the mage will be willing to negotiate now. And tell the House of Repose that we have Miss Montilyet in custody."

"The hell you will," Isabela snarled, fighting her way to her feet. 

A Templar hit her hard and she fell back to the ground unconscious. Josephine tried to resist as Samson grasped her chin.

"Pity," he muttered. 

***

Isabela woke in a dank cell. Roderick was nearby, the poor man nearly beaten to a pulp. He touched her shoulder.

"I tried to get help," he promised. "I'm so sorry-"

"Where's Josephine?" Isabela demanded.

"I'm here."

Isabela rushed to her and held her tightly. Josephine cried into her shoulder. Isabela didn't let go, cradling the back of her head. 

"I'm not going to let them take you," Isabela promised. "I'm getting you out of here. You get back to Skyhold and you tell Hawke to stay put. Whatever these bastards want, they're not getting it. Do you hear me?"

Josephine whispered, "I'm not leaving you."

Isabela reassured her, "I'm worth something to them alive. The House of Repose will kill you and as long as I'm alive, they're not getting their hands on you."

The door opened and guards came in, restraining each of them. Roderick was tossed out first, then Josephine and Isabela. 

"Where's the mabari?" Isabela asked Zevran angrily. "The Warden's going to be pissed if I let something happened to him."

"I got him out," Zevran hissed quietly. "I'll keep you alive for as long as I can. Word is that Hawke is on her way already. The Chancellor won't be harmed further."

"I don't give a damn about him," Isabela insisted.

"I can't get involved in another house's contracts," Zevran said. "As much as I wish I could. I can't save the girl, but I can save both of you."

They were brought into a chamber where an assassin from the House of Repose waited with an open glass coffin. Josephine was pushed towards it and Samson grabbed her wrists. 

The assassin warned, "If she doesn't die by my hand, I don't get paid, Templar."

"You can kill her in Antiva and if she doesn't survive, I'll compensate you," Samson growled. "I need to make sure your poison works. The Elder One wants Hawke alive."

Isabela elbowed one of her guards in the gut before kicking out at the second. 

Josephine called out, "Isabela, don't! It's okay. It's okay."

Samson let her go and Josephine's bound hands touched Isabela's face.

"I need to know you're safe," Josephine pleaded. "If they're going to take me, I need to know that you'll live."

Isabela kissed her hard before guards tore Josephine from her.

"I love you," Isabela cried. 

"I know," Josephine whispered.

The assassin injected the poison into her neck and Josephine fainted. He placed her into the coffin and checked her pulse.

"She's alive?" Samson asked.

"For now."

Isabela started crying and Roderick managed to pat her arm. They were led back into the hallway when they saw Hawke and Huan running towards them. Isabela freed herself and Hawke tossed her a sword.

"I'm going after Samson!" Hawke called out, fighting through the guards. "You get Roderick to the ship."

"I'm not leaving without her!" 

"Then you better run."

Isabela broke from the crowd and raced through the halls, cutting down any who tried to stop her. She got out of the mansion and into the courtyard where four assassins were carrying the coffin towards the docks.

She threw herself at them, immediately stabbing the first. The second ran off and the third only managed to block a few blows before Isabela slashed through his sword arm and he fell to the ground. The last, the bastard who had poisoned her, fought her. He had some skill, but Isabela was the best duelist of her generation. He didn't have a chance. 

Isabela looted the antidote from his body and opened the coffin. Josephine was barely breathing. Isabela tilted her head up and poured the antidote down her throat. Josephine's eyes fluttered open and she gasped.

"Isabela?"

Isabela brought her into her arms and kissed her. Josephine put her arms around her neck and let Isabela carry her towards the ship. They walked slowly, never looking away from the other, even as Hawke, Huan, and Roderick raced by them saying something about lyrium, Grey Wardens, and possibly blood magic. Isabela didn't care. For now, Josephine was safe. The rest were just details.


End file.
